Cellar Door

waiting for a custom fit in an off-the-rack world

And when at last you find someone to whom you feel you can pour out your soul, you stop in shock at the words you utter— they are so rusty, so ugly, so meaningless and feeble from being kept in the small cramped dark inside you so long.
Do you know what people really want? Everyone, I mean. Everybody in the world is thinking: I wish there was just one other person I could really talk to, who could really understand me, who’d be kind to me. That’s what people really want, if they’re telling the truth.
The only thing that makes life possible is permanent, intolerable uncertainty: not knowing what comes next.
Does everyone feel this way? …I was perpetually overconfident or insecure. Either I felt completely useless, unattractive, and worthless, or that I was pretty much a success, and everything I did was bound to succeed. When I was confident, I could overcome the hardest challenges. But all it took was the smallest setback for me to be sure that I was utterly worthless. Regaining my self-confidence had nothing to do with success…whether I experienced it as a failure or triumph was utterly dependent on my mood.
The trouble is not that I am single and likely to stay single, but that I am lonely and likely to stay lonely.
Time lost can never be recovered…and this should be written in flaming letters everywhere.
Erik Larson, Isaac’s Storm: A Man, a Time, and the Deadliest Hurricane in History (via wordsnquotes)

(via wordsnquotes)

get into your bed
it’s time for dreaming, sleepyhead
you know that the world can wait.
forget about the past
shut your eyes and hope this lasts
and let out all the demons from your face.
don’t be afraid to take the lane
that your thoughts choose to follow
just watch and wait as the landscape
unfolds into tomorrow…

when darkness sets
the sun that’s left
may cause you to feel alone
just take that feeling as your shelter
that’s the one place
we can all share a home

— Willy Mason ‘Into Tomorrow’
Wenn wir traurig sind und das Leben nicht mehr gut ertragen können, dann kann ein Baum zu uns sprechen: Sei still! Sei still! Sieh mich an! Leben ist nicht leicht, Leben ist nicht schwer. Das sind Kindergedanken. Lass Gott in dir reden, so schweigen sie. Du bangst, weil dich dein Weg von der Mutter und Heimat wegführt. Aber jeder Schritt und Tag führt dich neu der Mutter entgegen. Heimat ist nicht da oder dort, Heimat in in dir innen, oder nirgends.
— Hermann Hesse (longer version from previous Hesse post, and in its original German form. nothing quite like it.)
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